Feeding
For your peace of mind, consider the following four points to ensure that both babies are doing well:

a) Make sure both babies are satiated.
b) Each has been burped.
c) Their diapers have been changed.
d) They have been given love and affection.

We found that if our babies cried soon after they were fed, we rechecked b). After we rubbed their backs again, they usually burped and went to sleep contentedly. Consult your pediatrician if your baby(ies) continue to cry for long periods of time.

For the first few months, our boys spent the day in their car seats, in their swings or lying on their backs on the floor under an activity gym. Bottle-feeding two at the same time is tiring if you have to hold both bottles or both babies. During the day and at night, we fed them in their car seats, in an incline position. We rolled two receiving blankets intertwined horizontally and lay down the bottles vertically with the bottoms of the bottles leaning on the receiving blankets. They were now able to drink on their own, and we were hands-free. Also, while one child was still drinking, we were able to burp the other. I used this opportunity to hold and give attention to each child individually. We also placed their hands around the bottle at each feed. In time, the boys were able to hold their own bottles, and we were able to remove the receiving blankets. As you already know, always keep your eyes on them, and never leave them unattended while they are drinking in this position. Should you choose to feed them this way, please consult your pediatrician to see if this method is advised.

As the boys drank from their bottles in their car seats, instead of sitting on the floor with my back against the furniture, I sat on the footstool from the rocking chair facing them. This position was more comfortable and less strenuous on my back. It was only after the boys were 12 months old that I finally took the opportunity to sit in the rocking chair, with one child at a time, before bedtime or in the middle of the night.

It helps to prepare the formula (if you are not nursing) 24 hours in advance, and then place it in the refrigerator in plastic bottle containers.

A daily record should be kept in the form of a chart to monitor the children's schedules. For example, it could include the time they were fed, how much they drank or ate and when they had their bowel movements. The chart helps to avoid confusion and keep track of each child's routine. When you are not at home, should someone else help you during the day or night, your children's activities and time of sleep should be added to the chart.

On outings, try to maintain their regular schedule. For example, if you go out in the morning, decide how much time you have available to you so that you can return home for the usual feeding, nap or other routine.

Try not to be too strict on the schedule. Let your children guide you. If they do not eat well or are thirsty, they will let you know. Deep down, we know they make the schedule, and we alter it to adapt to our lives.

Sleeping
As a parent of twins, we have to decide if our children should be placed together in one crib or two separate cribs. Before our babies' arrival, we set up their room with two cribs. Still our decision was reinforced when our babies were placed into separate open cots while in the neonatal intensive care unit. This practice continued when they came home nine days apart. By this time, I was already adapted to the idea of separate cribs. In our experience, we found that as they grew older, if one cried or moved, the other had less of a chance of waking up when they were placed in two separate cribs. Also, the separation gave them the opportunity to babble and play across cribs.

As the children grow older, their sleeping habits change. For example, my husband and I laughed when we noticed that when we were putting our boys to bed they would cry, yet every time they were held they would stop crying. On these occasions, they did not cry for long, yet every moment seemed to last for an eternity. As a first-time mom, I have to admit I picked them up a few times before I was sure that nothing was wrong. I rechecked the four points mentioned previously in the "Feeding" section … and changed their diapers again. Knowing instinctively that our boys wanted to play and be entertained, we talked to them and then put them back into their beds. This behavior still reoccurs at bedtime every now and again. As they grew older, we gradually added strategies to these four points to ensure that our boys were doing well:

e) We talked to our children (even if they were not able to reply verbally).
f) We established a bedtime routine, such as reading them a story, brushing their teeth, sitting on the rocking chair…

Zombie to Zombie: If you are not nursing, shift work is an option in order to get rest. One partner sleeps from 7 p.m. or 9 p.m. for approximately six hours. While the other partner is providing the next feeding, you have the opportunity to rest until the following feed. Just being replaced for one meal allows approximately six hours of continuous sleep. The shifts can be changed to suit your needs and those of your partner's or caregiver's. As your children grow older and sleep through the night, you may maintain the shift work for other issues, such as teething or colds. For those who are breastfeeding, if your partner brings the babies to you while you are in your comfortable spot, you can nurse and then he can change their diapers one at a time and put them back to bed while you relax.

The newborn car seats served multiple purposes. Since they were portable, we used them for sleeping and feeding. Having said this, it is hard to carry two car seats at the same time because of their weight and size. They clunk together or hit your legs with each step you take. In order to walk with ease, carry one car seat with your weaker arm fully extended toward the ground. With your stronger arm, place the other handle of the car seat between your forearm and bicep and clutch your arm toward you like a bicep curl.

"Sleep when the babies sleep!" Excellent advice, but can this be done? Yes. The ideal situation is when they both sleep simultaneously. A routine must be established for this to occur. As their needs change and depending on their age, modify the times when they are both given a snack or meal followed by a nap, so your children will be able to sleep at the same time. In my experience, one of my children sleeps for longer periods of time than his brother. Still, they are both kept on the same schedule for meals, snacks, naps and bedtime. They are each given a few toys and a book in their beds. While one falls asleep before the other, his brother is able to entertain himself until he is ready to fall asleep. Now they are both safe in their beds simultaneously!

The decision of what to do when they are sleeping is not an easy one. I finally decided that during these moments I would no longer do household chores. It was time for me. Anything that I could do when they were awake was left for later. I focused on myself, instead of how much time I had before the children would wake up. Sometimes I was able to sleep for two hours. Also, it does help to leave your answering machine on and ringer off. If you occupy yourself on the phone, before you know it, it is time to take your children out of bed.

Even though I did not want the boys to be given pacifiers while they were in the neonatal intensive care unit, I always found one in the boys' drawers. When I stopped this routine at home, to my distress, they cried. I searched frantically through our gifts, hoping someone bought us pacifiers. Luckily for us, we found many. In the meantime, the boys were quiet if we continued this practice. Finally, after constantly going in at night to give them their pacifiers, we decided "no more." It took three long days to distract them. For us, placing them in their swings, giving them toys or providing music really helped. When Eli was ready, he found his thumb. We would worry about that later. For now, no more fumbling in the night or in the car for pacifiers.

When the children are old enough to stand, here is a strategy that worked for me when I wanted to remove both boys simultaneously from their cribs: Before I picked up the child who was reaching out from his crib with his arms open wide, I lifted the one who was still lying down or sitting and placed him leaning on my left or right hip. Then I placed my free arm under the other one's arms and around his back to lift him up. I used my knee to raise him higher. Remember, every time you lift, bend your knees so you do not strain your back. To put the children down into their highchairs or reclining feeding seats, one can be strapped into their chair or seat while the other is placed standing on the floor. Then the second child can be secured into their seat.

Bathing
Our babies were premature and small. So when I gave them a sponge bath, I found that they got cold very quickly when both their hair was wet and their bodies were fully exposed. So, I wrapped one boy in a receiving blanket, held him under my arm in a football position and first washed his hair over the sink. I then dried his hair quickly and gave him a sponge bath in the inlay tub (fold up). While one boy was being bathed, the other one was placed in a secure area until it was his turn. I did it this way until I found they were too heavy to hold under one arm. Then they were fully bathed in the inlay tub.

I always bathed my children separately at night until they were 1 year old. After the age of 1, I bathed them in the morning, as I was too tired by the end of the day. While one was safe in his activity center, I gave the other one his bath, then his bottle. By this time, they were able to sit up by themselves with support, so we changed from the inlay tub to the swivel bath seat and kept the same routine, bathing them separately. We put a movie on for the child in the activity center while he was waiting for his brother to finish being bathed.

When summer arrived, they played outside. With the sunscreen mixed with sand, they came home very dirty. They were now bathed an hour after finishing supper rather than in the morning. Before long, they were no longer fitting into the swivel bath seat, so I placed them directly into the tub. At first, I bathed them separately to give them both a bath at the same time – or should I say the three of us! Often, my husband took this opportunity to spend this time with the boys. We all had a blast! When I was alone, I would remove one child at a time from the bath. This child was dried and diapered on the bathroom floor mat. Then his brother was removed, dried and diapered. I could then dress them, place them in a secure area, drain and clean the bath area.

Want to see more?

• Two at Once: Becoming a Parent of Twins
• Breastfeeding Twins Series
• Bathing Your Little Beauty: How to Give Your Newborn Baby a Bath
• How do you manage bathing 9-month-old twins?
• To write a Twins Today diary, click here!
• Talk about it!