Taking your twins along for a holiday shopping excursion? “God help you!” says Karen Hill, laughing, a 30-year-old mom to 3 1/2-year-old fraternal twin girls.

She qualifies that statement, however, by offering, “It can be fun and joyful if done in small bursts.”

The holidays, filled with family traditions, are upon us again. But with multiples in tow, the holidays can be traditionally tough. Shopping with and for and traveling with more than one child the same age has its unique challenges. Below, experts and parents of twins and triplets discuss some of the problems and offer tips on how best to sail through this difficult season.

Out and About Together
“Going from one place to another is at times like a military operation,” says Julie Sullivan, a Topsfield, Mass., stay-at-home mom to a 3 1/2-year-old and 18-month-old fraternal twin girls. “I make lists of everything I need to bring from booster seats to port-a-cribs. And this isn't for traveling great distances, either…”

Hill says shopping with her twin girls can not only be embarrassing, but dangerous, too, if, for example, one child melts down in a store or parking lot and tries to run away. “With one child who loses it, you can pick [her] up and walk out,” she says. But with two children the same age, it's not quite that easy.

William Laut, 45, a stay-at-home dad of 5-year-old triplets – two boys and a girl – says if he decides to take his group shopping, he gives them a pep talk first. “I get down on my knees right in front of them,” says Laut of Hudson, Ohio. Then he tells his children the behavior he expects of them. “And you hold them to it,” he adds; if they misbehave, he piles them back into the minivan and returns home.

Laut, co-author of Raising Multiple Birth Children: A Parent’s Survival Guide (Chandler House Press, 1999) and a facilitator at the recent At-Home Dads Convention outside Chicago, says the family usually splits up for shopping missions. His wife will take two children with her while Laut takes the third with him. Otherwise, he says, it’s a little overwhelming listening to three little voices “chirping” at you.

One tip he has for parents of multiples is to dress the children in brightly-colored clothing. That way, you won’t lose track of your tiny kids among tall clothing racks and shelves of toys. “If they’re wearing a chartreuse T-shirt, all of a sudden you can spot them a lot easier,” he says. Also, one shouldn’t be above using leashes, he says. “I hate to say it, but I used leashes; it’s for my peace of mind.”

If it just gets too complicated, go online, says Diane Collins, a Bel Air, Md., mother of a 13-year-old and 4-year-old triplets. “I do lots of holiday shopping online,” says Collins, 41, who works full-time and whose husband stays home with the kids.

Money Matters
Laut says the expense of toys, as well as what items to purchase for two or more children the same age, are tough considerations for parents of multiples. So he makes a run to his local dollar store for stocking stuffers. He buys items like playing cards and balls for his sons and a doll for his daughter that total only $10 to $15.

Then, based on the list of gifts he helps each child draw up for the holidays, he’ll pick one higher-priced item, like a model airplane, for each child. “Obviously, my children’s eyes are much bigger than my wallet,” he says. Laut also frequents church sales and resale shops for good deals, before, during and after the holidays.

And the price of gifts is not the only cost parents of multiples must contend with at the holidays. Collins, whose family lives in New Jersey and whose in-laws live in Michigan, says the expense of flying with her teenage son and 4-year-old triplets to visit family is prohibitive. So for some occasions, her husband will take a couple of the children to Michigan, but not the entire gaggle.

That's one of the downsides to having multiples, says Collins. The family of six rarely does anything together outside the home, be it holiday travel or errands on a weekend. “But in a lot of ways we have no more challenge than any family of six,” she says. “We just have three of them the same age.”

Personalized Presents
When shopping for your multiples, do you buy all of them the same item to reduce fighting, or do you buy each child something different?

Laut says he always gives each child a unique item, and other parents of multiples are smart to follow his lead, says Dr. Cathryn Tobin, a pediatrician, mother of four and author of The Parent’s Problem Solver (Three Rivers Press, 2002).

"Kids need to be treated as individuals, not as equals," she says. "This is particularly important when it comes to multiples … When buying gifts for the holidays, I encourage parents of multiples to buy gifts that focus on each child’s individual interests, rather than buying the same gift to avoid bickering.”

“You don’t want to have two of the exact same toy, so you buy items that are slightly different,” says Sullivan. She suggests items such as a police car and a fire truck or the board games Candyland and Hi Ho Cheerio.

Hill says one year she made each of her girls their own quilt indicative of their individual personalities. "[Lauren's] personality is so sparkly,” says Hill, so she got stars on her yellow quilt. Kate, however, whose middle name is Rose and so identifies with flowers, got lilacs on hers.

Guiding Gifts From Friends and Family
But even though you may make the effort to avoid duplicate gifts, aunts, uncles and grandparents may not do the same. “People are always going to buy them matching-matching,” Hill says.

There’s nothing wrong with gently guiding friends and family toward gifts appropriate for multiples. “We try to counsel people on what to buy for the boys – give them ideas, stress the individual interests of each twin,” says Ty DeMartino, 34, of Frostburg, Md., the father of twin boys. Some people, however, always insist on buying two (or more) of the same thing. When that happens, he and his wife, Mary Beth, donate one of the identical gifts to a local charity.

And there are always the well-meaning friends or relatives who purchase only a single gift for two, three or more children the same age, Laut says, a situation that compels him to nicely remind people his kids are not one unit. “Never forget: They are individuals; they just happen to have the same birthdays," he says. "Don’t say, ‘This is for the triplets.’”

Yet by the same token, it’s important to think about yourself when advising friends. For example, you don’t want each child to receive his own 300-piece block set. The same goes for three of the noisiest instruments money can buy. “They have to live with these children," Laut says. "Don’t buy them three trumpets!”

Whatever gifts they do receive, kids are kids and will always want what the others have. Fortunately, with multiples, they often are more accustomed to sharing than their singleton friends.

The bottom line in making it through the holidays with multiples, these parents say, is to be organized.

“The key to surviving multiples, whether it be the holidays or any other time of the year, is try to be organized and anticipate their needs,” says Mary Beth DeMartino, 32, such as ensuring the kids get their naps, snacks and other necessities on time.

And if all else fails, keep your eye on the prize – the day after Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever holiday you celebrate.

Want to see more?

• Here Comes Santa Claus: Holiday Shopping for the Budget Conscious
• Easing the Holiday Crunch: Tips to Lighten the Financial Burden
• Shopping Madness: How to Survive a Trip With the Kids
• Talk about it!