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Expert Q&A

	By Paul Coleman Psychologist Family Therapist

We have 2 1/2-year-old triplet girls. When my wife goes out for a coffee with a friend for a few hours and I look after the girls, we have a fantastic time and the girls always enjoy themselves. When my wife arrives home however, usually two of the three girls will go running to her either in tears, or saying "Bit sad mummy, bit sad." Why do they do this? We have up until Mum gets home been having a good time and they're happy. Thanks in advance.?

My first guess is that there was a time or two when your daughters were somewhat sad that their mommy was away, and when they verbalized that sentiment they were highly rewarded with hugs and kisses and much attention. Consequently, they may simply have learned that to gain attention from Mom when she arrives home all they have to do is express some sadness.

Second, the girls are too young to be able to know what it is to have mixed feelings: that they had fun with you and they also missed their mom. They are not able to say something like, "Hi Mom. We had a great time with Dad, but we're glad you are home because we missed you." Perhaps your wife can ask the girls to talk about the fun things they did when she was gone and you might feel better. For now, don't take it personally.

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