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Expert Q&A

	By Dr. Bunni Tobias Kid Detective Psychologist

We have three sons �ϱ50; 3-year-old twins and a 2-year-old. We are currently having a difficult time at bedtime. They fuel each other not to sleep and will not stay in their bed. Is this a temporary problem, or should we put them in separate bedrooms?

Yes, you have your hands full, and I bet they're adorable! Here are some ideas:

As you approach bedtime, start dimming the lights and also your voices, speaking more and more quietly. Have a regular routine that you follow including having the children choose their books which signifies the "end" of the going to bed process. Be sure everything is cleaned up ahead of time, and go through a consistent routine – and I do mean consistent. If someone gets feisty, separate that child and work with the others.

Singing quiet songs as you go is very calming. (I have a good friend who was an early childhood teacher who always used singing directions quietly as a way to calm her class and "shift gears" smoothly.) Having children tip toe to see who can put on their PJs most quietly and reminding them of the book or books they will be reading keeps them moving forward. Misbehaviors should be handled by removing the child from the others and silently moving them through what you have requested. Any yelling or loud voices will set them off, and it sounds like you get a chain reaction! Think quiet!

About sleeping in one room, I just thought of something! You might want to let them earn the PRIVILEGE of sleeping in the same room by being very quiet and snuggling up for a whispered story. Do yourself a favor and don't be too dynamic when reading. Excitement and enthusiasm are daytime moods!

Quite frankly, if the kiddos keep each other awake, separate them. I heard Dr. Mel Levine who wrote A Mind at a Time (read everything he writes!) say that a good night's sleep is at the top of the list for learning, behavior, mood stability et. al. A regular bedtime, therefore, is a must also. Let me know what happens, and thank you for asking.

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