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Expert Q&A
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| By David L. Fay, M.D. Family Physician Associate Director, Waukesha Family Practice Residency Program | ||
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Is it possible to hold 15-month-old twins too much or give them too much attention? At what point do they need to interact with other children their age? I'm a stay-at-home mom, and my toddlers get upset whenever I leave the room or put them down. I enjoy spending time with them and holding them; however, I find their constant need for attention to be overwhelming sometimes. I'm worried they will not learn how to calm themselves down. At the same time I don't want them to feel unloved or scared. Any insight would be appreciated! Thank you.?
It is possible to hold children too much, but only if it interferes with their development. This is not easy to do, but it is easy to hold them too soon. Picking children up as soon as they begin to cry does not allow them to develop patience or impulse control. At this point in their lives they are beginning to understand that they are separate people from Mommy, and that can be scary. It is reassuring to them when you are there. They do have to learn how to deal with that, however, and letting them cry a little is OK. They will learn to calm themselves; children eventually do.
You will also probably find them beginning to manifest some stranger anxiety, clinging tightly when new people are around. This too is normal. Beginning to expose them to others now is a good idea; children should be socialized by the age of 2. In addition, you will burn out if you have to hold them all the time. You need some time for yourself. Perhaps joining a playgroup would help. A situation like that would offer the security of having you nearby while they begin to explore the world of other children.