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Expert Q&A
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| By Chris Crutcher Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist | ||
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One of my good friends is raising four boys; her 8-year-old twins are the oldest. The other night at dinner she mentioned that she caught them French kissing each other, and she mentioned that it was just normal experimentation. While I think "experimentation" is normal, I also think that a discussion about appropriate behavior should have followed. What is the best response to this situation?
The only consideration I'd have here is where the behavior came from. If someone has French kissed one or both of the kids, that's trouble because of all the obvious implications. If it's imitative behavior from television or movies or something they heard about, I wouldn't give it much worry.
I would watch to see if there are unusual sexual behaviors, because that can indicate that someone is being inappropriate somewhere, but experimentation is what it is.
A "discussion" may only highlight the behavior and make it more mysterious or attractive. If there's a natural way into a discussion, which would probably come at the point that the parent sees it or at some time when one or both of the kids asks about it, then I'd have a non-threatening talk about it, answering their questions at their appropriate age level, which is to say, answer only what they ask.
It's usually a mistake to put too much emphasis on any behaviors just because they make us uneasy. But, like I said, I'd pay attention to see if there are others.
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