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Expert Q&A

	By Maureen Boyle Executive Director MOST (Mothers of Supertwins), Inc.

Should I allow my 3-year-old twins to select their own activities, or have more structure to get them ready for preschool?

While it is really important to find one-on-one time throughout the day for each of your children, it is also important for 3- to 4-year-olds to learn to work within a group. Taking turns and waiting for your one-on-one time is something that seems to be more easily achieved for multiple-birth children than singletons. Multiples have had to learn from day one that Mom only has one set of hands and maybe there are six little shoes that need to be tied, so they wait their turn.

My suggestion to you would be to continue with your daily crafts and activities but to have them at an expected time of the day, if at all possible, for these things to occur so that the children will know when it is OK to go off and do their own thing (such as free play) and when they will be expected to participate in the group activity. Children not only love routines, they thrive on them, and the less guessing that they have to do in learning what is expected of them and what is appropriate behavior, the happier they will be.

If they know that when Mom opens up the craft box in the afternoon right after lunch that everyone is going to be expected to hang out and tune in to what fun may be in store, then they will be more likely to accept that there are no options at this moment, and instead allow themselves to open their imaginations to the fun at hand (the new craft project).

The challenge for the parent is to find crafts and activities that are of interest to each of their children. This can be a fun learning experience not only for your children but for you also. Try to make your activities somewhat personal for each. What stories can you tell as you are doing the craft? Was this something that you liked to do when you were their age? What books might you want to read before you do this craft? How can I make each of the crafts as individual as each of my children (different colors, different styles)? Is there a song that you know that would fit along with this activity?

Talk about what other fun crafts or activities might be good to consider for another day or a family field trip that might make your craft come to life – such as a trip to the fire house to meet your local fire department and see the trucks up close or a visit to your local bakery (call in advance and ask if maybe you can bring your children in to the back at a time when they are not very busy so that your children can see how cakes and cookies are made somewhat differently from the way you do at home).

The bottom line would be for you to be consistent in what your expectations are for them and to find crafts and activities that will be of interest to each of your children that are fun, easy and quick. Remember that free play is very important as well, but again, it should be at a time when the children know that it is OK to break away from the family activity. This will also give you a chance for that special one-on-one time with each of your children.

Enjoy this special time of your children?s lives!

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