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Expert Q&A

	By Adolph Brown Psychologist

How can I minimize the jealousy one of my twins feels when they see the other twin in my lap? They are nearly 4 years old now, and though they are very good friends, and yet very independent, when one sees the other getting solo Mommy time, they get jealous and disruptive.?

Jealousy is a common part of childhood commonly referred to as "sibling rivalry." Young people are often egocentric, as they believe everything and everyone revolves around them. They are self-centered and often self-serving. These qualities are often left behind as children grow and mature; however, in the case of twins, children feel compelled to "guard÷ or ?keep" the caregiver for him or herself.

The best strategy will have to be developmentally appropriate, as the concept of sharing comes a bit later. The caregiver should do his or her best to ensure that each child gets the appropriate attention. This is not an easy strategy, as it often requires the support and involvement of both parents. When two parents are not available, make sure that individual time with a child does not appear inordinate (easy to appear this way for toddlers), so switch up or focus attention back and forth as you interact with the children.

Eventually each child will develop his or her own personality and singular interests; however, until that time, try to do activities that may involve both children.

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