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Expert Q&A

 

By Jenny Lewis, M.D.
Pediatrician

I have 10-month-old twins, a boy and a girl. They are crawling, pulling up, furniture walking and pretty much getting into it all. Is it too early for disciplining when they are into things that I don't want them in, for safety concerns, etc.? Is redirection better than saying no?

It all depends on what you mean by disciplining! If you mean helping them understand what is off limits and what your expectations are for their behavior, then 10 months is certainly not too young. If you mean punishing them when they persist in doing things they have been told not to, then yes they are too young.

At this age, kids are both curious about the world and curious about their own power to elicit reactions from adults. They like to make adults laugh and talk to them, and if the adult has a happy face and pleasant voice, they will think that they have done something worth repeating. So the trick is to make very clear with your tone of voice and your body language that you are displeased when they are into the wrong behaviors. That being said, they may also find your angry face and sterner voice quite amusing, so make sure you are not encouraging their behavior with your "funny" reaction.

It is best to choose activities they are doing that are dangerous in which to intervene with your sternest voice, as usually you will not have to "act" concerned or hide your amusement (as you might have to when they are turning the TV knobs or pulling the fresh-folded wash out of the basket!). It is worth using "buzz words" when you say "No," as in "No wires"(when they are chewing on them) or "No plugs" (when they are exploring the power sockets). Of course, you should remove them from danger too, but the repeated use of the word helps them understand what they have done wrong.

If you are consistent, they will gradually learn from you, though don't be surprised if they go through a phase where they make sure you are looking before heading for the power sockets again, and then tease you to test out whether you will react in a predictable way. This shows they are learning, so you are making progress and so are they. The next stage is their own ability to inhibit their urge to touch what they shouldn't without being told.

If they are not doing anything dangerous to themselves, but you want to discourage them, redirecting at this age is fine so you don't find yourself saying "No" all day long.

Meanwhile, with twins reaching the mobile stage, you will need eyes at the back of your head, a lot of patience and a sense of humor. Good luck!

Dr. Jennifer Lewis

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