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Learning Limits
Toddlers, Development and Discipline
By Kelly Burgess
Fortunately, tantrums are (hopefully) not an everyday occurrence. What parents should focus on daily is teaching life skills.
Toddlers love to be helpers. Encourage this built-in behavior by asking them to help pick up toys, rather than telling them. For Tello, whose daughter refused to do as she was asked, a simple request to be a helper made all the difference.
"I thought she was being sassy, but when I changed my strategy to 'you help me do it,' Maria was much more receptive to the idea," says Tello.
It's always a good strategy to take a different approach to your toddler if the way you are interacting isn't working. Toddlers want to explore the limits of their worlds.
To ensure your child responds to limits that are vital, such as not running into the street or not standing in the grocery cart, it's best not to have too many rules and regulations.
Instead of saying "no" over and over to things that are off limits in the child's house, put them up until she understands those limits. If she pesters you while you're trying to talk on the phone, have a special box of toys ready for her to play with only when you're on the phone.
In other words, choose your battles wisely. Just think of it as practice for 10 years down the road. After all, as Nixon points out, toddlerhood is just a glimpse of what it's going to be like to deal with teenagers