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Home › Articles › Teenagers › Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Help Your Teen Get Over
a Break Up

By Kendeyl Johansen

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Boys react to broken relationships differently. "Boys often become angry since that, unfortunately, is the only emotional option that society sanctions for boys," Carle says. Some boys hide their pain.

Kerch McConlogue of Maryland learned about her 16-year-old son's break-up by accident. "We knew it was over because when we talked to him about the expensive long-distance phone bills he said, 'That won't be a problem anymore,'" she says. McConlogue didn't pry into the details of her son's romance because he was very private about it. She did let him discuss it when he wanted to. "Respect your teen," she says. "When a relationship breaks up it takes time to get over it, and the only way to get through that is to get through it."

Sometimes teenagers get into trouble while trying to feel accepted again or win back a loved one. Courting trouble is one way parents can tell a love-sick teen isn't coping well. The National Mental Health Awareness Campaign warns parents to pay attention to teens feeling extremely sad, hopeless or worthless. Carle advises intervening if a teen seems upset for a long period of time and can't shake obvious depression. Keep reaching out to troubled teenagers. "At first teens will reject a parent's attempts at intervention," she says. "Don't be afraid to insist."

Parents should set boundaries that teens must abide by and it's OK for teens to react negatively to the boundaries. "Tough love is actually interpreted by the teen mind as love," Carle says. "In contrast, giving your teen freedom is interpreted as parental disinterest." She warns that sometimes what teenagers say they want or don't want is not truly what they want.

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