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Anytown U Times Two
Planning for Multiples to Attend College By Barb Eimer
be known as 'one of the twins.'" "
This is something that was difficult for Pam Ryan, a mother of twins from Inver Grove Heights, Minn. "We have an older daughter, Marissa, 24, and I think of her as a stand-alone," says Ryan. "But I think of my twin girls as a unit. It's important for a parent of twins to understand what their role is, and with identical twins, the primary relationship is with that other twin. As a parent, it's hard to find where you fit into that relationship."
Two years ago, Ryan's daughters, Megan and Courtney, both started school at the University of Saint Thomas in St. Paul, Minn. They chose St. Thomas because it was familiar, respected and near their home. They lived next door to each other and both were relatively happy. But at the end of the school year, Courtney decided to change schools. She applied to and was accepted at the University of North Dakota, six hours away from her sister and family. According to Ryan, Courtney had always gone to Catholic schools, and the University of St. Thomas was too small. She was ready for a different environment, something, in her words, "a bit messier."
Megan, however, was content in St. Paul. She liked the orderly environment, and even though St. Thomas was more predicable than suited her twin, she was still finding new frontiers there.
Have the twins grown apart since going to different schools? Not at all. Ryan says they are as close as ever. "They talk every day," she says. "They miss each other terribly, but they send instant-messages all the time and are in constant communication. It's been good for them to have to see themselves as individuals, not as 'we.'"