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Tackling the Tough Stuff
How to Talk to Your Teenage Son By Shel Franco
Guys, on the other hand, seem to have a code in place that discourages these conversations. Why? Maybe it's because a boy's dad's dad didn't discuss anything with him but the bare minimum facts of life if that. Maybe there's no tradition in place because there's no one landmark occurrence to spark "the talk" that's comparable to the onset of menstruation with girls. However, we all need to revise this "guy code." Boys DO appreciate having the information that's in The Guy Book. In fact, they have a right to it.
We need to get real with our boys, especially now, with the laundry list of sexually transmitted diseases out there including HIV, which still must be regarded as a potentially fatal infection. The bottom line is that kids need to know how to protect their physical well-being. This includes needing to know about the potential for assault perpetrated by a family "friend" or family member or a person in a position of power and authority. Boys also have a right to specific information on how pregnancy occurs given the ethical, legal, moral and financial responsibilities associated with causing an unplanned pregnancy.
iP: How do you respond to parents who worry that giving their teen explicit information about tough issues will encourage their teen to become involved with sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.?
MJ: Studies have shown that the more kids know about sex, the more likely they are to postpone having sex with a partner.
And consider this: The media is endlessly giving out inappropriate messages to teens about sex, drugs, alcohol, tobacco; teens are being marketed to, especially in movies and on TV. The media promotes sex, drugs, alcohol and tobacco use by teens. Parents should keep this in mind and ask themselves: How can we counter these messages? One way is to make available accurate information about these topics and by talking to kids very directly about them, all of them. At the same time, helping the kid to become media literate is key.