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Growing up Together
A Story of Twinship By Teri Brown
Once, in ninth grade, the girls had to take a test to get into an honors English class. The teacher told one of the girls that only one was a truly gifted writer the other was just an over-achiever. "To this day neither of us can remember who the teacher told it to or who they were talking about," says Heidi. "I remember our mother being very angry about it and going to the school, but we can't remember much more than that. Sometimes our memories become collective even if it only happened to one of us!"
Over the years, the pair made an effort to individualize themselves. "We were very careful not to compete in one another's world," says Heidi. Holly agrees. "Our mother dressed us alike until we were school age," says Holly. "By the time we were in third grade we stopped dressing alike unless there was some kind of special occasion, and this grew rarer as we got older."
Today, after people get to know them, it becomes apparent that they are very different people. "Most of them say that I am more reserved than Heidi, that she is the extrovert," says Holly. "When we were growing up we chose different activities to be involved in. She chose the flute; I chose the clarinet. She enjoyed drama and dance and I enjoyed the fine arts."
Holly and Heidi both feel the best things parents of twins can do for their children is to avoid assigning each twin a personality label. "I believe that mothers of twins should be careful not to pigeon-hole their twins into particular roles," says Holly. "You know ... she's the sassy one, or she's the sweet one. All parents need to heed this advice, but parents of twins especially so. Children need to be free to grow, change and learn."