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Just Not "Cliquing"
Help Your Preteen Survive the Social Life
By Carma Haley Shoemaker
In addition to modeling, Sagarese says that parents have many other tools to help their preteen or teen survive the social jungle. "Parents have the tools to help their child succeed in their social lives just as they help in their academic lives," she says. "By giving their children lots of venues for social involvement, maintaining interest in their lives and fostering involvement in extracurricular activities, parents will ensure that there are many different settings in which a child can find friends and social support."
An important part of keeping group dynamics from taking a tragic toll on children is for adults to instill a sense of belonging that is not limited to one social group. Connectedness with parents and identification with school are two of the most protective factors for kids.
Experiences – both positive and negative – help define who we are and shape our personalities but, unfortunately, are not worn on the outside. "You cannot simply look at a person and tell what he or she has been through or what he or she has overcome," says Sagarese. "It is vital that we open up to possibilities and interact with others before we make the snap decision on who or what they are. You never know, a person you pass in the halls might be the one who knows how you feel, shares your passions, interests or your joys, even if they don't care about last week's big game and perhaps even if they don't shop at the Gap."