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Choosing Friends

An Experience in Social Development

By Sharon Waldrop

There are ways parents can help their preschoolers maintain friendships after the school bell rings. Listen to your child's cues. If a schoolmate's name is brought up regularly during conversations at home, it's a clue that this child's presence has sparked an interest in your preschooler. If your child doesn't mention other schoolmates, you can ask, "Who did you play with at school today?" or "Is there anyone you would like to invite over to play on Saturday?"

If you don't know the other child's parents, make an effort to meet them or at least talk on the phone. If they drop off and pick up their child at different times than you do, put a note in the child's cubby or other personal space indicating that you are interested in setting up a luncheon or play date.

It is a good idea to get to know the parents of any child your child wants to see outside the schoolyard. Before accepting an invitation for a play date, it's important to know if the other child's home has a pool that isn't secured or if there are medications, matches or chemicals within a child's reach. What type of television viewing is allowed in the home? Are inappropriate words or phrases used? Are children taught and encouraged to share, be kind and practice good manners?

By initiating a friendship, your child will begin to learn the social skills necessary to maintain and nourish a relationship. As parents, we can help our children develop these important skills skills that are needed during each stage of life.