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One After Two

Getting Your Twins Ready for the New Baby

By Cara Stevens

In many ways, preparing your twins for a new sibling is exactly the same as preparing a singleton for a new arrival, and all the usual suggestions apply: Take advantage of the scores of great new baby videos and books at your local library or bookstore; enroll your older children in a sibling class at the local hospital; paint a positive but realistic picture of life with a new baby in the house; have the children make a picture book of their life with a new baby; and buy each twin a baby doll of their very own.

And when the baby arrives, the same tactics apply for older siblings: Buy each child a present from the new baby; give each child a role or tasks to help care for the new baby and welcome guests and visitors; set aside special alone time each day with each sibling; and double up on the hugs, cuddles and "I-love-yous."

"The key with any new sibling is to be calm," says Dr. Moskwinski. "I let the twins hold the baby, and I was there to supervise. They held him for maybe 10 seconds and then lost interest. I think doing that was much preferable to always saying, 'Don't touch the baby!'"

As a parent of twins, you already know the burden twins face of being lumped together with their womb-mate. Add to the mix a new little person labeled "The Baby," and you can see the potential identity crisis.

"The best way to help each child to grow into his or her own person is knowing each child's personalities," says Copperman. Her son Alex recalls that when his little brother was born, each twin was assigned a role in Noah's life. "I was the protector, and Joshua played lullabies on the piano." Alex's role has evolved as Noah has grown into his own person, and he enjoys introducing Noah to his favorite superheroes and building forts together. "I love being a role model," he says.

Want to see more?

• Help Is on the Way: Getting the Support You Need to Raise Twins
• Start the New Year Right: Resolutions for Mothers of Multiples
• You Can Do It! 10 Secrets to Surviving the First Year With Twins
• Talk about it!

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