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Home › Articles › Toddlers › It Takes Two to Toddle

It Takes Two to Toddle

The Benefits of Father-Toddler Alone Time

By Teri Brown

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"Dads need to make their own mistakes if they're ever going to feel comfortable in a parenting role," says Brott. "This means that if Mom goes out for the evening and Dad stays home with the toddler, that Mom refrain from leaving a detailed list of everything that has to happen. While that may seem to be saving the dad a lot of trouble, it really undermines his ability to learn for himself what needs to be done."

Brott says moms need to be particularly sensitive if their toddler is in the "Mommy do it" phase. It's important for Mom to talk about Dad a lot and to build Dad up so that by the time he gets home, the child will be very excited to see him. Examples would be, "When Daddy comes home, he'll tell you a great story about a train" or "I know your teddy bear's arm is broken, but you know who can fix it? Daddy!"

"Moms should also go out of their way to praise dads any time they get the chance," says Brott. "Again, because dads often feel unsure of their own abilities, the more praise he gets the better he'll feel about himself as a parent and the more time he'll spend with the child."

Heading Out
It's very important to go somewhere interactive and kid-friendly for Dad's first outing with his toddler. The zoo, children's museums or even the play area in fast-food restaurants are designed with little ones in mind and will make it easier for dads to spend time together doing something fun. Remember that toddlers have short attention spans, so don't feel bad if you spend money on a museum and only stay a half hour or so. Trying to get your money's worth will frustrate everyone involved.

Your toddler will only be this age for a moment. Father time is important time and will help build a solid relationship that both of you will enjoy for years to come.

Making the Most of Time with Your Toddler

Armin Brott, author of Fathering Your Toddler (Abbeville Press, 2005), offers the following tips to make the most of the time with your toddler:

  • Make sure you bring a lot more stuff than you think you need, such as a change of clothes, extra diapers and wipes, snacks, coat, hat, etc.
  • Resist the urge to plan every minute of the day. Most toddlers have trouble with transitions, and if you're rushing around trying to get from place to place on a strict schedule, you'll make everyone miserable. So be sure to leave plenty of unstructured time.
  • Always have a Plan B. Your toddler might have a meltdown and may need to be taken home or it could start raining, etc.
  • Keep the child's schedule in mind. Trying to go grocery shopping during a time when the toddler usually takes a nap is a big mistake.

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