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I'm Homesick and Need Money!
How to Prepare for the Freshman Year By Lisa Marie Metzler
Sherry Sopko of Seaside, Ore., is a mother of a college sophomore who wasn't happy with her roommate. "We told her to find other friends to hang out and study with and try to get along with the roommate as best as she could and talk with a counselor," says Sopko. Again, it's very tempting to step in and try to remedy the situation by changing roommates or moving your student off campus. But this is another life lesson that isn't always pain free to learn.
Dr. Seymour recommends parents do not intervene, unless there is a dangerous or unhealthy situation. Instead, encourage your student to solve their own problem. Again, remind your student to take advantage of the resources close by, like the residence staff. A roommate contract or some type of mediation may prove to be helpful. Time and patience seem to be the key element to forging a tolerable living arrangement. "I've seen people who thought they were totally incompatible become best buddies once they learn to communicate with each other," says Dr. Seymour.
On rare occasions when disputes cannot be resolved, then your student may consider changing roommates. However, responsibility should fall on your student to make the change.
According Billie Shelton of Stanhope, Iowa, a roommate change made he son's second half of his freshman year more positive. "I told him that it's not required to be best friends with your roommate," she says. "I could tell he really tried to make it work, but he and his roommate got other roommates shortly after Christmas break, and he was happier after that."