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Not Just Alike
When Identical Twins Look Different By Carma Haley Shoemaker
Who's "Prettier"?Being the "pretty one" is not necessary a good thing. In fact, the feelings that often accompany being known as the more attractive of a set of twins can counteract any benefit that beauty could ever bring. "Oftentimes the 'prettier' twin feels guilty," says Dr. Antell. "The more attractive twin may feel guilty that they were given something their twin was not. Also, as twins have been known to be able to feel what each other is feeling, it is not uncommon for the 'prettier' twin to feel just as unattractive as his/her co-twin, if for no other reason but for sympathy."
Another reason for feeling guilty about being "the prettier one" occurs more commonly when a change in appearance is due to outside influences, such as an accident. "The more attractive twin feels a sense of relief or feels blessed that the accident didn't happen to him/her, altering his/her appearance," says Dr. Antell. "That feeling of relief can bring feelings of guilt, as it was their twin, and now they look different. It takes away a bit from both twins, as many are known, and like to be known, as a unit."
Sometimes it is not the desire to be beautiful or attractive that encompasses the twin of "the pretty one." Instead, it is simply the desire to look like their twin. "Being a twin means being part of a special bond," says Dr. Antell. "As many twins are known as a unit, they want to keep the unit as it is. When one twin looks different or is not as attractive, it affects both twins equally. Even when the difference is subtle, the twins want to change it to look as much like each other as possible."
"Twins are the same in many, many ways, but they are not total clones of each other," says Gail Gross, a child and juvenile education and development specialist from Houston, Texas, and the host of the Let's Talk