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Twins at Play
Adding Friends to the Fun By Kelly Burgess
Separate SpacesOne way that Lage encourages this interaction without any of the potential negatives is to take her twins out separately to situations where they can play casually with other children, such as a playground, indoor play land or to toddler activity classes.
"I did that a lot when they were toddlers, because I just think it's always good to have well-rounded social skills," Lage says. "Of course they need each other, but I don't know anyone who says they have enough friends or that their family is enough and they don't need anyone else."
Dr. Pearlman says she always encourages parents to spend separate time with twins. "If twins are never separate, when they do have to separate it may be difficult and they may constantly feel as if something's wrong, something's missing," she says. "They need experience in being separate."
In addition, Dr. Pearlman says taking a twin out one-on-one is a wonderful opportunity for the parent and the child to bond. She notes that when you see a parent with twins, their attention is constantly shifting from one child to another. When they're with one, their focus is on just that one child. It can really help each twin develop as an individual.
Still, with all that said, no one thinks parent need to knock themselves out at this age to be sure their child gets to play with others besides a twin. Just get out into the world and the opportunities are there.
"Life tends to offer a lot of opportunities for toddlers to meet and play with other toddlers without making it one more thing you have to worry about and schedule," Gromada says. "Many kids are in daycare or playgroups, most people have cousins or go to the park or have siblings. This isn't something that has to happen every day. Parents sometimes worry that their twins are not going to bond correctly, but their relationship belongs to them; just worry about your relationship with each of them and they'll figure their own out."