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Coping with Comments

Handling "Multiple" Questions with Grace

By Amy Carey

Not comfortable making up an excuse? Try avoiding eye contact with strangers when you're in a rush, suggests Natalie Piscopo of New South Wales, Australia, who also has two sets of twins. "Sometimes you are in a hurry, but you've got to listen again, again and again," she says.

In general, though, Piscopo is understanding. After all, it's not every day people run into two sets of twins – who are 10 months apart, no less – on the street. "I try to be nice about it," she says. "Twins [and] multiples have a magic aura about them. People want [to be a part] of it, even for a few minutes."

Kesselring faces another problem when she goes out with all five of her children: "People tend to ignore our oldest child," she says. "I try to introduce him and tell them how he is such a good big brother and helps as much as he can."

If your multiples have "singleton" siblings, it can be difficult to be ignored whenever the twins are around. Make sure you acknowledge your other children as much as possible and help them understand why people are so fascinated with twins.

After a few outings with multiple siblings, no doubt they'll become as used to dealing with the attention (or lack of it) as you are. Give them an extra hug and provide a good example for your kids: Rather than offering a sarcastic response to the third person who has shouted "Here comes double trouble!" show your kids that a brief smile and nod is a more pleasant way to deal with well-meaning, albeit obnoxious, strangers.

Next time you're out and about with your babies, take a deep breath and remember that having multiples doesn't give strangers permission to delve into the most personal details of your life and family. Divulge only what you're comfortable revealing and move on.

Want to see more?

• You Can Do It! 10 Secrets to Surviving the First Year with Twins
• The Terrible Twos Times Two: 10 Secrets to Surviving the Second Year with Twins
• Start the New Year Right: Resolutions for Mothers of Multiples
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!

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