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Homecoming for Twins

Making New Family Connections

By Laura Cone

(Harvard University Press, 2005), is a fraternal twin with her sister, Anne. "If the twins are identical, it's important to be able to recognize them," Segal says. "That way you start to address each twin by name. It's important to encourage relatives to address each twin by their name rather than 'twins' or 'sisters.'"

Segal says parents of twins need extra help so they don't feel one twin is getting more attention than the other or that a sibling is being neglected. "The main thing is parents' time is being divided," she says. "Parents often feel if they give a little more attention to one baby ... they feel guilty about ignoring the other. It's import to have enough support around so if you need to pay attention to one baby someone else can watch the other one."

People are naturally fascinated by twins, which may lead to older sibling jealousy. "People will be drawn like magnets to the twins and ignore the other child," Segal says. "Mothers and fathers have to make sure that people pay attention to the older child. Parents can talk to the twins about the older child. 'You have a big brother. Your big brother went to kindergarten today.' That way the big brother feels like he is center stage."

While most parents bring their twins home on the same day, some twins have to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit longer than their siblings. One twin might be ready to come home before the other.

Christy Slaughter of Lakeland, Fla., the president of Lakeland Parents of Multiples, says her 4-year-old son, Jack, was confused about why his twin brothers, Alex and Luke, who are almos 2 now, did not come home with her.

Want to see more?

• Check out our Article Library.
• Early Arrivals: Our Experiences with Premature Twins
• Preparing for Twins: Practical Advice Every Parent Should Know
• Preparing for Twins: A Dad of Multiples Shares His Advice on the Early Days of Fatherhood
• Talk about it!

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