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Birthday Parties for Twins

When Twins Each Want to be Recognized Separately

By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW

Having two birthday cakes and meals tailored to each of her daughter's preferences, Bracher and her family have incorporated several creative options such as having one birthday cake and meal for breakfast and the other for dinner. "We'll let the girls decide which meal they'd prefer to have," she says. "Their decision is usually based on what they want to eat or what day of the week their birthday falls on."

For years, guiding relatives to give his children one larger gift that they can share was effective for Terry Wodarski of Madison, Wis. This would limit arguments over who received a bigger or better gift and ensured that both boys enjoyed what they received. "When the boys were almost 8, they informed everyone they wanted separate parties and gifts," says Wodarski.

Wordarski's sons maturely explained to their friends and relatives that they would like to be recognized separately. "Even though two parties are more work, the boys have such different personalities and interests that now that they're older, this is actually easier than fighting with them to find a common party theme," says Wodarski.

Although one bigger gift may seem practical and be given with the best of intentions, many twins actually prefer receiving individual holiday and birthday gifts. They often want to be the one to open the gift, or fight over whose turn it is to play with it days after their birthday has passed. "Even if two gifts are smaller than one large one, twins appreciate the sentiment of a family member recognizing each one of them as individuals," says Dr. Greta Sproul, Ph.D, a child psychologist in Valencia, Calif.

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