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Home › Articles › Toddlers › Double Trouble

Double Trouble

5 Tips to Tackle Twin Fighting

By Alexandria Powell

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For instance, if you see things getting heated over a toy that one twin has and the other wants, go over and offer the left-out child something else to play with, Pearlman says.

Offer duplicates. It may be helpful to have some duplicate toys, especially when your multiples are young and have less developed sharing skills, Hazzard says.

Pinpoint trouble times. When does the biting or fighting usually take place? Right before dinner? Right after naptime? Figure out when fights are likely to occur, Pearlman says, and you can figure out ways to head them off.

Be a role model. "It's helpful for a parent to sit down with twins and directly practice skills such as asking to use a toy, taking turns, trading one toy for another and amusing oneself while waiting for a preferred activity," Hazzard says. "The parent can demonstrate these skills and then praise each twin when he or she follows suit."

Be sensitive to competition. "We can't live our lives as parents of twins afraid to recognize our children for their individual accomplishments," Kirk says. "But we do have to realize these kids have been sharing everything since day one, and we have to be sensitive to their need to feel equal." Special days have worked well for Kirk's twins. If that isn't always possible, sometimes just giving your child as little as five minutes of solo play time with Mom or Dad can help,Hazzard says.

Finally, remember that the fights won't last forever, and that your multiples do love each other very much. "My boys bicker, argue and do a downright fantastic imitation of no-holds-barred street fighting," Lyons says. "But they still want to hold hands while going into preschool and they protect each other from anything and everything in the outside world. [So] I try to focus on that part of it."

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