If You Build It, They Will Come
Starting Your Own Moms' Group
By Kate Riener Boyd
. They brought each other gifts, cooked and cleaned for new moms after childbirth, they met regularly and seemed to care for each other deeply. We wanted THAT! I started to fear we'd never get that when only two women did anything for one member's newborn. One woman never made it to a second gathering, and the whole group still felt clunky after a couple of meetings. I lamented the fate of this group to myself. We'd never be anything more than a silly cocktail klatch.
Then again, so what if it's never more than a cocktail klatch? Who doesn't love a good cocktail klatch? These nights have been a blast, and I have gotten closer to a few of the women. We have the opportunity to have time away from home, surrounded by women who go through similar things, who can talk about anything from new paint colors to deciding to have a second child. So what if not everyone does something for a new mom? So what if we don't meet every week and don't have some cute name? We can't be just like the group on TV, and who would want to be anyway? We are who we are, and we seem to be doing pretty well.
Tips From Moms' Group Mavens
"Babies are icebreakers, so you can make friends anywhere," says Julie Slattery of Washington D.C. She started a playgroup three years ago by inviting women with babies she met on the street or in local stores. "I was sittng on my front porch and a woman walked past me with a stroller. I asked how old her baby was and her son was the same age as mine. We decided to get together the following week at her house," she says. "The next day in CVS I ran into another mom wearing a Baby Bjorn and I invited her to the group." Slattery's group has grown and evolved since August of 2000 to include more members and a monthly moms' night out without the kids. "We probably would not be the best of friends in regular life, but we all bonded over our kids," she says. Susan Lavington of Alexandria, Va., stepped out of her comfort zone to build her moms' group by tapping the women of her church. "I don't consider myself overly religious, but it is a great group of women and I really enjoy it," she says. At the suggestion of her enthusiastic young minister, Lavington was able to recruit members in the church bulletin and use the church as a meeting place. She uses the group as a foundation to address a wide variety of issues. "We do everything from moms' night out dinners to educating ourselves about baptism to discussing discipline issues," Lavington says. "We try to schedule a particular topic or speaker for every month." Think beyond your regular cohorts and your typical day-to-day discussions. "I love that these are people outside of my normal social circle, so it gives me great perspective and a chance to meet people who are different from me," says Lavington. "Two of the greatest joys of womanhood are being a mom and girl talk – moms' groups bring these joys together." |
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