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Talk Your Way Into the New Year
The 10 Best Things to Say to Your Partner
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
ost us? Will we get anything back? Will it be worth our time and effort? Will this commit us to anything else? Will it affect our lifestyle? Will we win or lose? Will we look good? What will we have to give up? What impact will this have on our time? How badly do we want to do this? Will this be something that will bring pleasure? Will we get any recognition?
Couples whose main purpose in being a couple is to help and support each other in growing spiritually often ask a different question than those posed above. When faced with a dilemma and unsure about what to do, they find it useful to ask, "What would love do now?"
There is no question more important to the spiritual development of you and your partner than "What would love do now?" If your reason for being together is to accumulate a healthy retirement portfolio, climb the corporate ladder, build fame and recognition or hold on to what you have, then this question need not be part of your Couple Talk. If, on the other hand, Spirit is your goal, the most meaningful, relevant, helpful question you can ask in any situation is, "What would love do now?"
"What would love do now?" does not have to be used exclusively for heavy-duty issues like tough love and nursing home decisions. It can be used to determine how you and your partner budget your money or choose whom to invite to a party. You can use it to help decide if you should join a church committee, take dance lessons together or give this article to a friend.
Your choice of words and style of communication are critical to the level of intimacy, connectedness and trust you create with your partner. The way you talk to your partner, what you say and how you say what you say all impact the degree of respect and caring that is present. Why not resolve this year to regularly examine the ways you talk to your partner?