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Adoptive Moms and Nursing
Adoptive Moms Still Can Be Breastfeeding Moms
Starr was living in Germany when she adopted her third child, Thomas. When he was born, she says, "He did not breathe on his own, had no pulse and CPR was performed for nearly 30 minutes." His condition was listed as critical, and Starr was warned that if he survived, he would almost certainly suffer permanent brain damage. But neither Thomas nor his mother was willing to give up easily. Her son's needs helped Starr decide she was ready to breastfeed in public.
Living abroad helped her realize "how ridiculous Americans' attitudes toward breastfeeding were," she says. She was happy to discover that most people supported her choice – a choice she credits with saving her son's life. Thomas has scored higher than average on most developmental tests he has taken, and his physical and mental abilities continue to delight and astound his proud parents.
"I know that our wonderful nursing relationship and the breast milk I was able to produce were essential in allowing him to accomplish so much."
The key to successful adoptive breastfeeding, Starr says, is the mother's willingness to try anything she thinks might work. "With Julia, my antisocial, older baby girl, people thought I was nuts." Her daughter was supposedly "too old" to learn how to breastfeed. Undaunted, Starr tried "totally unheard of things, like feeding her with a bottle nipple with a supplementary feeding tube just barely sticking out of it, so that I could get her into nursing position, even though she still sucked latex." Her experiment succeeded, and Starr's ingenious idea has since helped other adoptive moms to nurse their older babies.
The benefits of adoptive breastfeeding are great – for both mother and child – and provide proof positive that mothering has less to do with biology than with a woman's capacity to love and nurture.
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