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Ending Sibling Fights
A Step-by-step Approach
By Elizabeth Pantley
With your help, have the children create a contract agreement between them. Spell out what actions are unacceptable and what the consequences will be imposed for failure to meet the contract terms. Have each child sign the agreement and post it conspicuously. Follow through with the agreed consequences when necessary.
Step 7: Know What's Really Happening?
Don't always assume that the child who is doing the hitting is the only one at fault. Sometimes the "victim" has taunted, teased, insulted and tormented the sibling to the point of wild frustration. While it is never appropriate for one child to hit another, it would behoove you to be aware of any behind-the-scenes torture that may be testing your child's patience to its limit. If you discover that this is happening, begin to hold both children accountable for their behavior.
Step 8: Catch Them Being Good.
Reward them for getting along with positive attention. When your children are playing together without fighting, make a comment of appreciation, such as, "I'm happy that you guys enjoy playing together." Giving attention when things are going well will encourage them to continue the positive behavior.
Special Note: If your children have frequent, intense battles, it is a symptom of a much bigger problem. It would be wise to seek the advice of a family counselor or therapist. You may be able to find an appropriate specialist through your church, school, physician or local hospital. This is a difficult issue to resolve on your own. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign that you really care about your children and their relationship with each other.
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