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Playing the Sporting Game
12 Tips to Help You Show Support, Encourage and Teach
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
tsmanship, improving skills, playing within the rules and learning to lose with grace are just as valuable as winning. The lessons your child can learn when he or she doesn't win may be more valuable than winning that particular game.
5. Respect the other participants. This includes coaches, officials and other team members. Cheer for members of the other team when they make a good play. Applaud the winning swimmer. Praise other athletes in front of their parents.
6. Hang onto your temper. Model restraint for your young athlete. Yes, get excited, but channel that excitement into encouragement and applause. Staying home is an option to consider if you lose control and occasionally berate officials or disrespect other spectators.
7. Refrain from yelling from the sidelines or stands. Players are too busy to process and integrate all the advice that is yelled from the sidelines anyway. Often they don't even hear you. Check it out. Go out on the field and have some parent yell at you. See how easy it is to follow his or her instructions. That experience will cure you of yelling advice from the sidelines.
8. Get involved. Volunteer. The coach is giving up much time and energy to coach your child. Help out by organizing after-game treats and carpools and helping out with fundraisers. Lend a hand at practice if you feel qualified and the coach approves.
9. Praise your child for his or her efforts. Stay away from evaluative praise like "Good job," "Excellent play" and "Tremendous pass." Instead, give important feedback using descriptive or appreciative praise. Descriptive praise describes what was accomplished. "You threaded that pass right between the two defenders," "Your decision to take the extra base ended up with an important run being scored" and "Looked like you maintained your concentration after your horse changed leads on you," are all examples of praise that describes. Appreciative praise tells the effect the child's behavior had on the team. "Your pass set him up with the perfect opportunity to score" and "The way you were encouraging teammates got everyone excited" are examples of appreciative praise. Descriptive and appreciative praise will leave room for your child to make the evaluation.
10. Resist the urge to critique your child. Improvement is more likely in an atmosphere of positive encouragement. Often with positive intentions, parents inform children of their errors and how they can improve. This feedback is often unnecessary, as children are usually aware of their errors. They don't need parents making a verbal list of mistakes to be corrected. They need you to be there and to allow them to play and have fun.
11. Compliment the officials. Most officials are volunteers or older children working for minimal compensation. They are learning too. Even if you think an official made a bad call during the game, you can comment on his or her hard work. Say something positive to the officials, and let your child overhear you.
12. Cheer for other children. Focusing solely on your child sends the message that you don't care about the team or the event. It tells others that you are only there for your child. Compliment players as they are substituted in and out of the game. Applaud their accomplishments.