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Grunts, Snarls and Verbal Abuse

How to Break the Silence and Poor Communication Patterns

By Laura Paul

(Rising Books, Inc., 1999), created a curriculum for teens that focuses on communication skills, questioning skills, listening skills, networking skills, public speaking skills, reading and writing skills.

Foster explains to teenagers that until they have good communication skills, they really limit themselves in their opportunities both at home and in the workplace. "The biggest challenge we face today is skills like communication, listening and people skills; those were all skills that were learned at home years and years ago, and in many cases, they are not learned at home anymore," he says. "Then these kids are getting out into the workplace, and they don't have these skills. What employers are telling us across the board is these are the skills young people lack in order to be successful in the world of work."

Foster, who is also a television host for ESPN and the father of 1-year-old Graham, says teenagers do not learn rude communication behavior overnight. "They did not wake up one day and decide to be inconsiderate, rude, apathetic kids," he says. "That's something they learned over time. I think it's also important to know who your kids are hanging out with. If seven out of eight of their friends all talk that way to their parents and treat adults that way, they are more likely to follow suit and be of that persuasion."

Foster speaks to more than 80,000 teenagers each year. When he does, he is quick to point out they are going to need several skills in their "tool box" to be successful.

"One of them is communication skills, the ability to walk up and talk to almost anyone, anywhere," he says. "What we teach in our workshops is how to talk to strangers. Forever they are told, 'Don't talk to strangers,' and then they get thrown out into the real world of either high school – dealing with coaches and adults, media specialists, principals – or into the work world, and they don't know how to talk to people they don't know."

Want to see more?

• Shh, Mom! Stop Spilling My Secrets: Why Parents Should Use Discretion When Talking About Their Teens
• Behavior Contracts: What Can They Do for You? An Interview with Mark Kichler, President of KidsContracts, Inc.
• The Lost Art of Letter Writing: How to Get Your Child to Pick up a Pen
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!

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