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Bashful Babes
Dealing with a Shy Toddler By Alex Powell
(Bantam, 2005). "Half of these, [or about] 10 percent of the total population, are still wary of new events and people at age 8."
All children will show some signs of shyness during the toddler years, notes Dr. Acredolo, citing stranger anxiety in 9- to 20-month-olds as an example. But children with a biological predisposition to shyness "take a lot longer to outgrow these tendencies and require more reassurance in the midst of a particular novel event," she says.
For most shy children, a cautious personality is simply part of who they are. And being shy can accompany some highly desirable characteristics, says Dr. Acredolo. Shy children are often naturally empathetic(they know what it is like to suffer and feel for others readily), talented imaginers (they can create rich inner lives while playing alone) and loyal friends (when they do make a friend, they are usually highly invested in keeping that friend). As they grow, shy kids are statistically more likely to do better in school and less likely to get caught up in crime or violence.
When your shy toddler shows fear, acknowledgeit, says Dr. Acredolo. "[The fear] is real to the child," she says. "Blustering that 'there's nothing to be afraid of' doesn't help." She adds a shy child needs to be able to trust his parents will be "a safe port in the storm." Never try to force your toddler to participate in anything he is truly afraid of.