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Disagreeing With Your Pediatrician

What to Do When Opinions Collide

By Amy Carey Bowman

The only way to build a satisfying relationship with your doctor is to communicate. Don't be afraid to speak up, but at the same time, be open to your doctor's advice.

"I would suggest that parents not be hesitant to question, but if their doctor is following accepted recommendations (like those from the American Academy of Pediatrics), parents should be very careful and thoughtful before [ignoring him]," says Dr. Dvorak.

And when you do speak up, Dr. Adler requests that parents stay calm. "Don't scream and yell," he says. "And please don't yell at my office staff." Rather, schedule a time with your doctor when you can rationally discuss your disagreement and decide what's best for your child.

If you find yourself questioning everything your pediatrician advises, it's probably time to find a new doctor. Avoid more conflict by choosing your child's doctor with certain factors in mind. "The first step is knowing what your needs are," suggests Eriksen. "For example, I didn't appreciate unsolicited advice [about my parenting style]. I also was offended when my daughter's first pediatrician brushed off our concern that she cried a lot." A new doctor who was more sympathetic to the Eriksens' needs changed their experience at the doctor's office significantly.

Gordiski thought it was important to find a doctor who talks to her as if she's a friend. "I also like that there are other twins in her practice," she says. "It is important to me – and should be to other mothers of twins – that the babies are seen by a provider who knows that twins are not the same as singletons."

No matter how much experience your doctor may have, remember that a parent's instincts are usually worth listening to. "Switch physicians as soon as you feel uncomfortable," says Eriksen. "Trust yourself. The right doctor is out there."

Want to see more?

• Baby's First Tests: What You Can Expect During Your Hospital Stay
• Get Organized! Keeping Baby's Health Records in Check
• 20 Questions: What to Ask Your Pediatrician
• Talk about it!