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Welcome, Babies!

Preparing Siblings for the Arrival of Twins

By Amy Carey

When the visitors have left and you're back to your daily routine, "the biggest juggling act this side of Ringling Brothers begins," says Lyons. "You truly have to determine in each given instance whose needs can wait a minute and whose can't."

For the many instances when your older child is kept waiting, Lyons suggests keeping some secret, inexpensive toys and activities in a closet. "Items such as coloring books, puzzles and movies work well," she says.

Depending on your child's age, you can also try to enlist older siblings' help, even if "helping" means having your child stand next to you on a stool while you change diapers. "[My daughter] loves feeding and holding the babies, [and] my son reads books daily to them," says Melton. "He will make funny faces and dance around for them also."

Despite the extra hands, Melton still has moments when it can all be too much. "I do get short with [my older children] because of the lack of sleep," she says. "But I try to help them out even if I have one baby in my arms."

Lyons agrees that no mom has time for everyone all the time. Sometimes, putting your feet up, even for a few seconds, takes precedence over doing an art project with your older child. But, she says, "The most important approach all around is to constantly remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and as long as your children know that you love them, you will all make it in the long term."

Want to see more?

• One After Two: Getting Your Twins Ready for the New Baby
• Help Is on the Way: Getting the Support You Need to Raise Twins
• Two at Once: Becoming a Parent of Twins
• Talk about it!