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One After Two

Getting Your Twins Ready for the New Baby

By Cara Stevens

As a parent of twins, you already know the burden twins face of being lumped together with their womb-mate. Add to the mix a new little person labeled "The Baby," and you can see the potential identity crisis.

"The best way to help each child to grow into his or her own person is knowing each child's personalities," says Copperman. Her son Alex recalls that when his little brother was born, each twin was assigned a role in Noah's life. "I was the protector, and Joshua played lullabies on the piano." Alex's role has evolved as Noah has grown into his own person, and he enjoys introducing Noah to his favorite superheroes and building forts together. "I love being a role model," he says.

If you create a role for each member of the family that can evolve as the child grows and the family structure changes, each child can learn to feel special and unique with an understanding of their place in the larger family unit. "You can spread your love as far as it needs to go to each child," says Dr. Moskwinski.

No matter how you slice it and despite the fact that there's always enough love to go around, there will still be many times when you'll feel just plain outnumbered. When that happens, keep your head, take a deep breath and try one of two tactics: Divide and conquer (by having a parent take one child aside for a special errand or game) or ask for help.

"Even if having one is easier than two, a little help can go a long way," says Pam Fierro, the About.com Guide to Multiples and the mother of twin girls. "Enlist grandparents or other family members, hire a sitter (for either the twins or the newborn) or utilize the support of an organization like a church group or local multiples club for meals."

When you get overwhelmed, remember, in parenting, as in life, it's all in how you handle the situation: Approach your children with trepidation and you're in for a bumpy ride; stay focused and keep your wits about you, and you can forge a wonderful family unit with strong relationships that last a lifetime.

Want to see more?

• Help Is on the Way: Getting the Support You Need to Raise Twins
• Start the New Year Right: Resolutions for Mothers of Multiples
• You Can Do It! 10 Secrets to Surviving the First Year With Twins
• Talk about it!

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