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Beyond Laughter

The Hidden Power of Tickling

By Mark Stackpole

Everyone loves to hear a child laugh, but how far are we willing to go to get it? For most babies and toddlers, the surest path to laughter is a little tickle – under the arms, on the belly, the bottom of the feet. All parents know the location of their child's "tickle spot." But just because they know where it is doesn't mean that they should visit it too often.

"Tickling can turn from a fun activity into a very uncomfortable event for a child," says Vicki Panaccione, a child-clinical psychologist and founder of the Better Parenting Institute. Even the youngest pre-verbal child can get his point across when tickling becomes too much for him.

Panaccione advises parents to look out for some "acting out" behaviors, such as biting, kicking, screaming, crying, pulling away, hitting, shrieking and whining. This type of behavior can often mean that a child is being over-stimulated and needs relief.

"Unfortunately, their behavior is often not interpreted this way," Panaccione says. "Children are often reprimanded for it. Of course, this sends a message that it is not acceptable for the child to communicate his needs, and that trying to stop an uncomfortable situation can lead to punishment. Interestingly enough, these kinds of behaviors, even with the consequences, do have the desired effect – they stop the tickling. So the other message that the child may glean is that acting out results in the desired effect."

It is important to remember that a laughing child is not necessarily a happy child, especially when tickling is involved. "Children laugh for a variety of reasons," Panaccione says. "Continued and heightened laughter can actually be a defense mechanism to help the body channel and attempt to release some of the over-stimulation."

The laughter caused by tickling can actually be a way of coping with physical discomfort, and it may also be a psychological reaction. "The child may also learn that her laughter pleases her caregivers," Panaccione says. "If there are a lot of positive rewards for her giggles, she may learn to provide what others want, even if it is uncomfortable for her. She meets expectations to get desired attention and acceptance."

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• Talk about it!

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