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Night Time Wanderings
Getting Your Toddler Back to His Own Bed By Margaret Risk
Sometimes parents have mixed feelings about their baby growing up and when he arrives at their bedside at night it makes parents feel "needed," Dr. Bartell says. If the parents feel ambivalent, the toddler may have difficulty feeling safe about his developing independence.
Dr. Bartell says that it's extremely important for parents to help toddlers feel better about their independence by encouraging them to sleep in their own beds. If parents want their toddler to sleep through the night in his own bed, then as tired as that parent might be she must take the toddler back to his own bed.
"When you take him back to bed, be insistent, calm but not angry, that he needs to stay in his bed," says Dr. Bartell. "You may need to pat him, hold his hand or stay in the room for a few minutes so he feels safe."
But sometimes special situations arise that may cause a toddler to feel less secure and, consequently, create sleep problems. Judy Gibson, mother of three in Maryland, says that her youngest son, Mathew, liked to take a favorite blanket to bed with him. Gibson also let him keep a pacifier until he was about age three. But after she discovered that he was putting the whole pacifier in his mouth, she was afraid he might choke and had to take it away from him.
"We had about three weeks of sleep problems," Gibson says. "Then he was back to his routine of simply lying in bed and going to sleep. Thank goodness for the blanket!"
Another common situation arises when a new baby joins the family, says Dr. Bartell. The toddler may be jealous, anxious and needy and his sleep may become disrupted, especially if the new baby sleeps in the parents' room. "While you still need to encourage him to sleep in his own bed, and work on it, it may take a while before it happens," she says.
Letting the toddler cry for a few minutes at a time is okay, and will ultimately teach the child to be self-soothing, rather than relying on the parent to get back to sleep, Dr. Bartell says. "But I don't think any baby should cry indefinitely because it is scary for a child and may make him feel abandoned."
