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Who's Better at What?
One Father's Thoughts on Keeping Sibling Rivalry in Check
By George Ayres
y night at supper, Hallie usually has more to say about what's going on in the world. Liza usually outscores Hallie with their weekly "math minutes" – a quick test given to gauge their progress in addition and subtraction. Hallie shows more promise in science than Liza. Their abilities are both about equal in gymnastics, dance, Spanish, reading. And so it goes.
In each instance where one may excel more than the other, it's sometimes noticeable that the other is bothered. Usually not to the point of complaining, crying or being angry, but you can see it on her face. She wants that knowledge, that understanding, that skill that her sister has and she may not. As many parents of twins know, give it a day, maybe a week, and much like the weather, that skill, knowledge or understanding will change. The twin that was once envious eventually becomes the possessor.
I imagine going through such similar experiences at their activities and at school (where they are graded on their performance) must contribute to the growing rivalry.
It's obvious that competition between Liza and Hallie with regard to schoolwork or certain social situations can be a confidence-building act. Low key competitiveness usually builds self esteem and self confidence and results in a better showing whether it be on a spelling test, math minute or speaking up when an adult talks to them. One of them may see the other reaping rewards of praise for standing up for themselves in a social situation and that may prompt the other to try and mirror that behavior. I view that type of action as something positive for their mental and emotional well-being. It's constructive and helpful.
Webster's Dict
