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Who's Better at What?
One Father's Thoughts on Keeping Sibling Rivalry in Check
By George Ayres
One identical pre-school-aged twin said to his brother as they splashed in the bath, "Am I just like you?" His brother answered, "No, I have a boat."
My two oldest daughters, identical twins Liza and Hallie, are 7. They've always been each other's best friend, and they've remained inseparable for most of their young lives. They play together, they're never far apart from each other in school and they love taking extracurricular activities together like tap dancing, art, gymnastics and choir. Is there much rivalry between them? Yes, they have their moments.
When they were younger, say 3 to 5, it was the simple things that could set off one being envious of the other, like running an errand with Mommy or going outside to get the paper with Daddy. If one errand was, for whatever reason, more popular, the envy was greater.
Although I love to do things together as a family, sometimes being apart from each other is a practical necessity as well as being a good thing for the girls. It forces them to develop their own interests rather than making decisions based on what their sister does, wants or thinks.
As Liza and Hallie have gotten older, being jealous of each other for simple things hasn't been that important. As their dad, I've seen it develop more in the past two years since they've entered elementary school than when they were toddlers. I imagine it will evolve even more as they grow into young girls.
Last year in kindergarten, Liza's art project won first place in her age group and advanced to the regional competition. Hallie's did not. Everyday in Hallie's class, her teacher reads the newspaper, and the class talks about current events. So ever
