The chance to be alone with each twin separately can enrich the whole family. A toddler may enjoy a trip to the park or playground with just Mom or Dad. While one twin will receive your undivided attention, the other may bond with other family members or friends. Pearlman suggests having one or two compact strollers in addition to the side-by-side stroller for easy use on those solo excursions. She also encourages alternating which child goes with which parent on solo outings to help family relationships develop.
Carefully observe each child's interests. Providing structured and unstructured playtimes will help you see each child's strengths. Terri Morilak of Bedford, Ohio found it helpful to watch for what her fraternal twin daughters, Katie and Becky, enjoyed. "I let them tell me what they preferred," she says. "I didn't try to force them into what I thought was the image of twins. Parents can save themselves a lot of grief if they watch for these cues." During playtime, Natoli also found it was helpful to avoid forcing each child to do what his twin was doing. "One of my sons loves coloring," Natoli says. "The other pretends the crayons are logs and uses them as cargo in his toy trucks. Instead of forcing him to color, I eventually realized he was being creative in his own way."
Provide individual praise and affection, and make sure both children receive their fair share. Foster both verbal and nonverbal one-on-one communication. "Touching, hugging, smiling and eye contact are areas where equal may not be the same," says Pearlman. "A parent tries to respond to the real needs of each child at a particular time."
Incorporate each individual into the dual birthday celebration.