Refrain from referring to members of your duo as "the smart one," "the artistic one," "the scientist," etc. "Labels limit twins' potential," says Pearlman.
Use identifiers to help others know who's who. Giving each toddler an identifying object such as different colored shoelaces can be an easy way to instruct others on how to tell your twosome apart. Knowing that Mark has green shoelaces and Danny's are yellow, for example, will help discourage people from making their own comparisons based on appearance like, "He's the heavier one," or "He's the shorter one." Pearlman offers some other identifiers. "Different colored bibs, pacifier strings, different haircuts or different hair styles such as one ponytail for one girl and two for another may also be used to help differentiate between toddler twins," she says.
Dress similarly instead of identically. Renee Natoli of Northfield Center, Ohio is the mother of 3-year-old fraternal twins Dean and Dominic. She feels purchasing the same outfit in two different colors for her sons have helped them become aware of their individuality. "Dressing similar teaches my boys that they are unique and that they have some things that are their own," says Natoli. She's also observed that it's helped introduce the concept of sharing. "If Dominic wants to wear Dean's dinosaur shirt instead of his own truck shirt, I'll tell him it belongs to Dean and that he has to ask him," says Natoli. Kent feels it's easier to dress twins alike and that toddlers usually want exactly what another child has anyhow. Pearlman maintains that dressing toddler twins alike is OK occasionally. "Sometimes they want to be dressed alike," she says. "At the toddler age, parents can start giving them a choice." Separate drawers for each twin's clothing can also promote the concept that some items are personal property.
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