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Sleep Deprived? Join the Club!
A First-time Mom Tells It Like It Is
By Lisa A. Goldstein
I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm a first-time mom. Enough said.
All the books, Web sites, family and friends in the world won't help when you're left alone with this new being you've brought into the world. This adorable little baby who you're completely responsible for will likely cause a panic attack. If it doesn't, I don't know what will. If anything, daily life is fraught with humor. Maybe I'm not laughing at the time, but when I relate the incident later, I usually am. And that's what helps keep me sane.
Take the morning I first attempted to use my electric breast pump. My husband and I had gone over the instructions the night before, and I thought I was prepared. But I couldn't figure out why was it so hard to fit both of my breasts onto the machine. I gave up and did one at a time, which of course took forever. When I complained to my spouse upon his return home from work, he immediately started laughing. Turns out those placeholders for the bottles were just that – placeholders. Instead of bringing the bottles – attached to the pump – to each breast, I was leaning over the unit itself. In retrospect, it seems glaringly obvious. But at the time, well, what can I say? I had a momentary lapse in common sense: a frequent malady for new moms.
Then there was the first time I took daddy's little girl out in her stroller to a new shopping area nearby. Under the watchful eye of my engineer husband, I had practiced opening
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