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Ending Sibling Fights

A Step-by-step Approach

By Elizabeth Pantley

Step 2: Sit and Think
Have both children sit on a sofa at opposite ends, or on two adjacent chairs. Tell them they may get up when they have resolved the issue. At first you may have to mediate and guide the resolution. Over time they will learn how to negotiate and compromise on their own.

Step 3: Time Out
When two children are physically fighting, immediately separate them into different rooms for a cooling off period. When they have both calmed down, sit them at the table together and arbitrate a discussion between them until the issue is resolved.

Step 4: Separate
Tell the children they may not play together for one hour. Banish them to separate rooms. (Do not allow either child to watch TV or play video games.) Their first response is likely to be, "Great! I didn't want to play with him anyway." But after a boring hour playing alone, they will likely be better company for each other.

Step 5: Payback Time
Have the aggressor do a chore for the injured sibling, such as make the bed or take out the trash. An alternate idea is to fine the aggressor a pre-determined amount of money, such as 25 cents. The injured sibling gets to keep the payment. (Impose a penalty only if YOU see the aggressive action.)

Step : Contract for Better Behavior

Want to see more?

• Check out our Article Library.
• Arguing and Back-Talk: Excerpted from Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley
• The Role of Responsibility: How Much Is Too Much?
• Double Trouble: 5 Tips to Tackle Twin Fighting
• Talk about it!