- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- twins today articles
- twins today q&a
- message boards
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
 |
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Preteen Friendships
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly By Sue Marquette Poremba
Karres, who is currently working on a book about preteen friendships, says that parents can and should keep up with their adolescent's new friendships. She encourages parents to continue volunteering in schools when possible, like they did in elementary school. Chaperone events where your child will be with his or her new friends, and when the inevitable sleepover request comes, suggest that it be held at your house whenever you aren't well familiar with the friend.
Even when parents take precautions to do all they can to meet their preteen's new friends, and feel comfortable that they've coached their child well in the art of friendship making, there are times when a new friendship makes the parents feel unsettled.
"Go with your mother's instinct," Karres says. "There is a reason you feel uncomfortable around a child." Even so, she suggests giving the child a chance, because your influence could actually be a good thing for the child in question.
Burns' mother's instinct kicked in with one of her daughter's friends. "I never liked her," Burns says. "There was something about her I couldn't trust. However, she was my daughter's friend, so I did welcome her into our home and made an effort to like her."
Eventually, the friend proved Burns' instincts to be correct. Knowing the friend allowed Burns to provide support to her daughter when the friendship ended. She had a good understanding of the situation, and it gave Burns the chance to steer her daughter in the direction of better friendships.
Friendship is vital to the emotional health of a preteen. "Middle school can make or break a youngster," says Karres. "They need good friends." * Names have been changed to protect privacy.
